I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
