Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Best friends brother. Beat that.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
