Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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