My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
