Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
