How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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