I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
