theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
