He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
