Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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