My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize