Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
