OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
