were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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