just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
two words...techno handjob
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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