she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
