Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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