Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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