I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
