Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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