Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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