i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize