I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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