Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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