we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
