Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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