yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
