just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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