you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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