i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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