Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
