Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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