i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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