So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
