You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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