Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
