That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
