i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
