Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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