Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
