Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
