Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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