I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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