i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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