i permit you to call me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
