But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
