U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
