Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize