We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
