Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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