Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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