The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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