Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
