i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
