do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
he had hair everywhere except his balls
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
