I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
