I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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