the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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