I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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