I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
