You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize