he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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