Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
