My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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