There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
