Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
