He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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