my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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