there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
